Sunday, October 4, 2009

I've decided..

to switch to Tumblr.. I think it will be a simpler, neater way in which to share my favorite things. Stay tuned for the link! Ode to the Good Old Days I hope to see a few of you there!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Little Moments of Life.

I NEEDED to share this beautiful short film entitled Moments by Will Hoffman. Inspired by the book Sum by David Eagleman:

Just viewing that put me in such a good mood, one I haven't been in for a month or two now as to be honest, my depression seems to be sprouting an evil head on my shoulder yet again but, for now, it has shrunk considerably.


Thanks again, Ingrid !

Sunny Side Up!,

Friday, August 21, 2009

The Hunger for Beauty.

Beauty is an ecstasy; it is as simple as hunger. There is really nothing to be said about it. It is like the perfume of a rose: you can smell it and that is all.
-W. Somerset Maugham-

I came across that quote & the photo of Nina Leen today within ten minutes of each other & I thought they deserved to be together.

I've been obsessed with We Heart It lately so, my mind has been enundated with lovely images for the past couple of weeks so, you can expect more eye candy in this blog's near future


Sunny Side Up!,

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

As Promised.

My incredibly low quality pictures of my awesomely high quality tattoo(s). They go together really so, I don't know whether to count them as two seperate ones or not. I guess so.

Top of wist (left) my heart bracelet (cuff):

Opposite side, Lucille Ball's signature:

i really love it a bunch.
Now, the top of my wrist, despite it being right on my bone did not hurt AT ALL. No lie. However, the underside hurt like a (excuse my language but, I cannot stress it any other way) MOTHER FUCKER. VERY BADLY. I CRIED. Obviously, if you're not one for pain and you've been considering a tattoo on the inside of your wrist, reconsider my dear. If that baby ever needs touched up, forget it. It can just fade.

So, what's next?
I'm not certain but at one point I want this quote somewhere:
If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble. -Bob Hope-

Also, I want a small little something or other on the nape of my neck and perhaps a 40s pinup girl.

We shall see!

PS- Can any of you tell me how to fix the disheveled way my posts turn out? None of the codes I use is fixing this problem. HELP. Please? Thanks!
Sunny Side Up!,

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Hello Friends!

Hello friends!

That's right, I'm alive. I didn't die & I haven't stopped blogging. I was in Georgia from July 17th until the 30th and since I've been back, Blogger hasn't been cooperating with me so, forgive my prolonged absence if you will.

Anyway, I had a more than decent trip & I came away with a new tattoo! Well, two tattos really but, they go together like shoo bop shoo wadda wadda yipitty boom de boom.

I just need to get some half way decent pictures which I SWEAR TO GOD I will do (with the help of my craptastic cellphone camera) either this evening or tomorrow and I will post the results ASAP. all I'm going to say about it now is, more Lucy.

Now I return you to your regularlly scheduled blogging.

Sunny Side Up!,

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Taking a Lesson From Old Hollywood.

That's what these street style STARS (and, I do mean stars), did to great success! You can view the others at Refinery29

Lucille Ball:

**NOTE** I couldn't believe it when I saw this! Its nice to see Lucy being included as one of the brightest stars of Hollywood past. That's rare. Props for that, guys!

Grace Kelly:

Sunny Side Up!,

Monday, July 6, 2009

Zsa Zsa, Ha Ha!

I'm not what you would call a fan of Miss Zsa Zsa Gabor. However, I'm a fan of antics like the following:

Zsa Zsa's workout. It's simple, dahling! (Especially when you have a ripped guy to move your limbs FOR you!:

Sunny Side Up!,

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

I Love Regina.

Regina Spektor's new album is blowing me away one airy, heavenly song at a time.

Enjoy her video for Laughing With:

Sunny Side Up!,

Sunday, June 28, 2009

365 Reasons to Party.

Such a funny list from Everything2 !

A list of my personal favorites:

January 20- George Burns birthday, 1896.
February 1- Fred Flintstone's birthday, 2,000,000 B.C.
February 16- Zsa Zsa Gabor's Birthday; (or National Slap a Cop Day.)
March 27- Elizabeth Taylor's Wedding Anniversary.
March 28- Elizabeth Taylor's Wedding Anniversary.
March 29- Elizabeth Taylor's Wedding Anniversary.
April 30- National Honesty Day.
June 22- The day disco officially died, 1979.
June 23- The day disco should've died, 1974.
August 17- Woodstock festival ends, 1969.
August 18- People who passed out at Woodstock realize the festival ended yesterday, 1969.
October 21- The annual 48-hour Marx Brothers Film Festival, Tampa, FL.

See the entire list at the first link above.

Sunny Side Up!,

Friday, June 26, 2009

French Fabulosity.




Ces't Jolie!


And, today is my 22nd Birthday as well. :)

Sunny Side Up!,

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Princess Grace- The Last Interview.

I've just spent the last half hour or so watching this, the final interview of Grace Kelly, given by Pierre Salinger in June of 1982, which was less than two months prior to her tragic death in that fateful car accident on a mountain in Monaco..

I've always been far more taken with Grace's life AFTER she abandoned her career as an actress in the name of love. A fairytale come to fruition, to say the very least.

I have to agree with a commenter on the last video in the series when they say how they hate it as Pierre asks that fateful question; I know you're far too young to ask this but, how do you want to be remembered?
That stings, almost like a foreboding statement.

However, despite that, I enjoyed this immensely and find her demeanor and graciouness very refreshing with there being such a lack of it in today's public figures whether in politics or pictures.

Here are parts ONE:


and THREE:

With the final three parts off to the left and either the first or second video in that list.

Sunny Side Up!,

Sunday, June 21, 2009

A Beautiful Night.

Paul McCartney- A Beautiful Night-

I am officially crazy for this 1997 music video from Sir Paul McCartney. My father showed me this earlier today.
Be sure not to miss a few glances of the lovely Linda and Ringo, too!

Sunny Side Up!,

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Favorite Scenes in Film; 5.

Its not too surprising, perhaps, that even current movies that I count among my favorites most often take place during my favorite time period, the 1940s and

Mona Lisa Smile (2004) is about four young women attending Wellesley College circa 1954 and they are on the high road that leads to proper wives and mothers, that is. Julia Roberts portrays the bohemian art history teacher who is fresh out of LIBERAL California. This independent woman decends upon this conservative Massachusetts college town preaching an open minded, all encompassing approach to education and the alumni here fights against her 'subversive' ways tooth and nail.

However, though they prevailed at first, the attitudes of the stuffy high society brass and the hold which they once held on their offspring, give way to acceptance of new ideas and a realization that as young women just coming into their own, they do not need to depend on a husband for support or a sense of worth.

Here, in one of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite films, Katharine strikes back with avengeance after a previous defeat against the young women in her class and their 'holier than thou' attitudes toward her, what they percieve as, inferior, education:

(skip to 1:55 for the alotted scene but, watch the beginning for the gratuitious Lucy reference!)

Sunny Side Up!,

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Lucy, Lucie, and Ginger..


I can't even say that I hope to be that spry when I'm 60 or so because, hell, I'm not that spry NOW!

Sunny Side Up!,

Monday, June 8, 2009

Rebranding America.

About this piece: Andy Spade co-founded both Kate Spade and Jack Spade, and recently launched a branding studio and store, Partners & Spade with Anthony Sperduti who has worked as an art director in New York City for many years.

"Our thinking behind the assignment's solution is that by offering a simple apology, we acknowledge our mistakes with the hopes of restarting our relationship with the rest of the world."

Recently, Paper Mag brought together "15 of the country's best visual communicators to redefine our image". I really was infinitely inspired by these artists eclectic takes on what they believe our new image should be as projected to our fellow human beings worldwide.

Sunny Side Up!,

Saturday, June 6, 2009

It's a Small World, After All!

I'm not exactly a Disneyphile (new word?) however, I'm all about whimsy and fairytales and, that's exactly what this little gem, narrated by the great Walt Disney himself, provides. Welcome to Its a Small World, circa 1964. (Fair warning, if repitition drives you bats, skip this because, not surprisingly, Its a Small World is on a continuous loop. BUT! Its done in different styles & languages too so, its much more bearable.):

Sunny Side Up!,

Friday, June 5, 2009

What's in the Fridge?

I just spent a good half hour studying, really studying, each photo in this series of photos done by photographer Mark Minijvar of the insides of other people's refrigerators because, it satisfied the snooper inside me.

The photo above is my favorite because, if it weren't for certain individuals who share my abode, that is akin to what my fridge would resemble. Sadly, this is more like its current state.

So, tell me; What's in your fridge today?

Sunny Side Up!,

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Close to Home.

1940; farmer's co-op dubois!

Farmer's Co-op Market; Dubois, Pennsylvania

Dubois is less than 50 miles from where I reside!

courtesy of SHORPY
Sunny Side Up!,

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

And Now, Please Turn Over..

I was reading through the amazing Movie Moorlocks earlier and it was brought to my attention that the adorable Betty Garrett celebrated her 90th birthday last week!

I've happened across Betty numerous times during my deep foray into classic television first in Laverne & Shirley and then later as the Bunker's neighboor, Irene, in All in the Family but, I never realized what movies she had taken part in until today.

So, I give you Betty & the wacky Red Skelton in an uproarious scene from Neptune's Daughter (1949):

I hope you laugh as much as I did at this. My otherwise hum-drum, dreary day has been brightened considerably!

Sunny Side Up!,

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Death Car.

Moving photography of the scene of Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow's death scene.

The bullet holes through the car doors are something else!

Sunny Side Up! (That doesn't really seem appropriate but, whatever.),

Thursday, May 28, 2009

I'm a Winner!

res tosy s
The lovely Kate of Silents and Talkies just informed me this morning that I am a third prize winner in her Epic Art Giveaway , so I am the proud owner of a mini art print of her adorable Astaireing Contest:

ANDDD, to the rest of you, she is offering 50% OFF of your entire order of prints from any of her Etsy stores OR 20% off any original artwork from Silents and Talkies or Flapperdoodle .
Also peruse her other shop, Kate Gabrielle , for something with a little bit of humor!

Sunny Side Up!,

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Grace in Small Things; 21 of 365.

1.) The adorable Nate, the guy who picks me up from that transportation service, took hold of my hand yesterday so, we held hands all the way to my destination.
2.) I got a delivery from UPS today.
3.) I now own a pair of the coveted cat eye sunglasses.
4.) I've finally found a new exercise that gets at my pesky thighs.
5.) I might get to meet one of my favorite Internet friends while staying in Georgia!

Sunny Side Up!,

Sunday, May 24, 2009


I was wandering around Wal-Mart (Yeah, I know..) and in my quick glance through the book aisle, one of my first stops anywhere, what to my wandering eyes did appear?

but this:

Home: A Memoir of my Early Years by Julie Andrews.

I swear to God, I nearly hyperventilated with the sudden rush of sheer delight that I so abruptly experienced. And then, it dawned on me.... Where in bloody Iamgoingtoshowmyboobies-Areyouheretoseemyboobies?HELL have I been because apparently, it was released LAST YEAR. I'm not with it. I am no longer 'hip', 'happening' or what do you kids call it these Or, is that SO 1998?

MUST READ. As in, yesterday.

Sunny Side Up!,

Friday, May 22, 2009

Yodel, Odel, Odelllllllllllllll...

I really enjoy some high quality yodeling, most often in the vein of one Dame Julie Andrews a la The Lonely Goatherd but, this little gem comes straight from Deutschland (or somewhere near there)showcasing a lovely little lady by the name of Maria Hellwig. Its really cute, enjoy! I did.

PS-Sorry I've been rather slack on the posts around here but, I'm dealing with computer malfunctions and then I'll be going on a three day weekend sans internet access but, I'm still reading your blogs and such as often as possible. :)

Sunny Side Up!,

Monday, May 18, 2009

Time in Motion.

Square America amazes once more with their series of Moving Pictures

Go there to see all of them. Here's my favorite:

Sunny Side Up!,

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Images & Intelligence.

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough- Groucho Marx -

If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman - Margaret Thatcher -

And were an epitaph to be my story I'd have a short one ready for my own. I would have written of me on my stone: I had a lover's quarrel with the world. - Robert Frost -

I was the shyest human ever invented, but I had a lion inside me that wouldn't shut up! - Ingrid Bergman -

Every positive value has its price in negative terms... the genius of Einstein leads to Hiroshima. - Pablo Picasso -

Dialogue should simply be a sound among other sounds, just something that comes out of the mouths of people whose eyes tell the story in visual terms - Alfred Hitchcock -

If God has allowed me to earn so much money, it is because He knows I give it all away. - Édith Piaf -

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world - Anne Frank

I don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom. - General George Patton

If all of us acted in unison as I act individually there would be no wars and no poverty. I have made myself personally responsible for the fate of every human being who has come my way. - Anais Nin -

I believe in everything until it's disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it's in your mind. Who's to say that dreams and nightmares aren't as real as the here and now? - John Lennon

If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing slowly... very slowly. - Gypsy Rose Lee

Any fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage - to move in the opposite direction - Albert Einstein -

I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall. - Eleanor Roosevelt

We had an apartment on west side of Central Park. The rent was very reasonable. We found out later that it belonged to a gangster called Legs Diamond and it was a front to his headquarters. It was fine. - James Stewart -

Richard Burton rang me up once and said, Do you know you're my only leading lady I've never slept with? I said, Well, please don't tell everybody, it's the worst image. - Julie Andrews -

Sunny Side Up!,

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

I Love Lucy- The Not-So-Overplayed Best;1.

As everyone who has visited here even only a time or two know, Lucille Ball is my FAVORITE actress & comedienne.

I've decided to periodically post my favorite Lucy moments however, I'll be highlighting the ones that are almost always overlooked. That means, if you're expecting Lucy's infamous foray into candy making or that strategically placed wick-in-putty nose, you are looking in the wrong place but, I promise they'll make you smile.


Most likely.


I'm kicking it off with Season 6 episode; Ragtime Band, and the scene is the gang's rendition of Man Smart, Woman Smarter.

PS- Has anyone else noticed how every time Keith Thibedeaux (Little Ricky) plays the drums, he sticks his little tounge out? How adorable is that, right?

Sunny Side Up!,

Thursday, May 7, 2009

A Piano; Flaming, Falling.

Jeff Desom , a German filmmaker, has collaborated with experimental pianist, Hauschka to create this short music video which showcases the lovely talent that Jeff posesses when it comes to his craft and the wonderful musical pieces created by Hauschuka.

Done using vintage postcards of NYC found in Paris flea markets and photographs provided by the Library of Congress:

Hauschka - Morgenrot from Jeff Desom on Vimeo.

Isn't it such a hypnotic, beautifully flowing work of art?


Sunny Side Up!,

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Bratislava Hot Serenaders

These are The Bratislava Hot Serenaders . As what one would consider a modern Jazz Band, they aim to recreate 20s and 30s popular music verbatim with no modern day rearrangements in the music and the same can be said for their vocalists.

You will find different video clips of these superb performers on their site (linked above) but, here are my two favorites, thus far:

Broken Record (A novelty song.):

and Livin' in the Sunlight, Lovin' in the Moonlight:

And now, a question(s).
What is your favorite decade for music and who are a few of your favorite artists from that decade?

Thanks for the heads up, Elizabeth !

Sunny Side Up!,

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Grace in Small Things; 20 of 365.

1.) I was fortunate enough to see the revival of South Pacific last saturday and it was AMAZING.
2.) I lost a library book on that trip but, I went to buy books today & came across the same novel that I misplaced for .49 so, hopefully I won't have to pay a penalty because, I've replaced it!
3.) I took Whitey, my dog, for a walk today and he listened extremely well once the initial excitement wore off.
4.) I'm drinking anywhere from 20-80 ounces of water a day now and I think its helping me lose weight.
5.) Blackberries on sale 10 packs for $10.00? SWEET.

Join Grace in Small Things !

Sunny Side Up!,

Monday, May 4, 2009

Marie Hochhaus; Photographer.

The photography of Marie Hochhaus is very lovely and, she has a lot of work to sift through in her portfolio.

I'm not able to post my favorites here but I'm particularly drawn to set number three and set six

Aren't they whimsical?

Sunny Side Up!,

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Inside Grey Gardens.

From the Master bedroom, used by Big Edie.

A view of the main staircase from the second floor.

The great thing is, the couple who bought Grey Gardens from little Edie after the death of her mother, have had it restored to its original grandeur and apparently use the home as a summer place today!

The rest of the photo essay can be viewed here.

PS- I'll be getting my NYC film developed tomorrow. The bad news? I was prevented from taking photographs inside of the theatre but, I may have captured a few nice shots from Central Park and around the city.

Sunny Side Up!,


Saturday, May 2, 2009

I'm Off!

to NYC.
To see South Pacific
Pictures and the like will be forthcoming or, eventually.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

The Fabric of Her Life.

Zooey Deschanel did a commercial for cotton. This girl makes me swoon with her gentle, lilting voice and her cute as a button style. Even her name is filled with adorable-like qualities.

This is my new favorite commercial.
Do you have a favorite commercial? Have you even thought about it before?

Sunny Side Up!,

Monday, April 27, 2009

Andy Warhol; Artist, and.. Movie Maker?

Perhaps I'm the only one who did not know this until yesterday because, I'll admit, I'm always the last to know about..well, about everything. UNLESS it pertains to Lucille Ball in which case, tell me something I don't know.

Moving right along, I've only glanced at Warhol's art with an intrigued eye but, never gave his person much thought other than "Wow, I like the colors.. OHHH, COLOR!" Which, I readily admit, was very close minded of me. I have no excuse for showing no further interest in this multi-faceted man.

Alas, I had no idea that Andy Warhol delved into film making; creating such, shall I say epic, films like the 485-minute Empire (1964) or, the moderately popular The Chelsea Girls (1966.

That is why I was fascinated by this short clip from a project being put together by The Andy Warhol Museum & DVD distributor, Plexifilm; consisting of "screen tests" done by Mr. Warhol featuring the visages and occasionally quirky mannerisms of of such party legends & movers and shaker of the 1960s party scene as; Edie Sedgwick, Nico, Lou Reed, and Dennis Hopper; among others, entitled 13 Most Beautiful...Songs for Andy Warhol's Screen Tests. Enjoy this preview below:

Its especially haunting when you think about how some of the individuals who were so prominently featured there are either no longer heard of or deceased.
Its a creepy thing to look back on any old footage and knowing how some of the human beings that were so alive and full of life at that moment, came to their tragic ends. Its as if we are privy to their future while they stare back at us, oblivious.

Thanks to Movie Morlocks for bringing this to my attention.

Sunny Side Up!,

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Goodbye to a Golden Girl..

Beatrice Arthur
May 13, 1922- April 25, 2009

Cousin Maude visits the Buners; part 2 of 3;

Best of Dorothy; seasons 1 & 2:

Its a rotten shame that all of the great talents not only of the studio era but, also from television's golden years, are nearly extinct. I can honestly almost name off everyone who is left. Oh, they were a rare breed, the true entertainers..

PS- BETTY WHITE, you better be taking every freaking vitamin in the universe right now woman because, quite honestly, I'm unstable enough. We can't lose you anytime soon or I'll go crazyyyy.

Sunny Side Up!,

Friday, April 24, 2009

Poetry Passion; 1.

I've had an on and off affair with poetry since fourth grade. Mr. S, my fourth grade teacher, would take about 15 minutes every day simply to stand in front of our class and recite a bit of poetry.
I have him to thank for my love of this beautiful art.

So, I've decide to post my favorites periodically.
This is the first in this series.

-Robert Frost-
Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

The above poem also holds memories for me because, it was the very first poem I ever loved. My great aunt owned an enormous book of poems many years ago and she continually read this to me from its pages. I am not sure why she chose this particular work to read to a girl of three or four but, she did and I've always adored it.

So, dears, what was the first poem that you adored?

Sunny Side Up!,

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Uh..She Seems to be ENJOYING This!

Look at her face! She's all, "Ohhhh!"
If your wife looks like that when you're beating her, is it still considered beating?

Sorry I've been MIA for most of this week. Just read the post below as to why. I'm dealing and I'm laughing again so, I'll pull through.

Sunny Side Up!,

Monday, April 20, 2009

Forgive Me, For I Know Not Where This Post Shall Lead.

*DISCLAIMER*I know that the three or four of you who read this humble little blog come here for some happy escapism however, I am currently dealing with the loss of without a doubt, the biggest friendship I have ever known and, being that I have no one to pour over this with me in the physical sense, I am bringing it here in the form of a recap, per se.
Please, bare with me.

I remember the first time I saw her. It was in Chorus and she was sitting beside my other good friend. She was wearing a purple flowered dress and glasses. The dress brought ridicule from some popular peers beside me because it was not, admittedly, anywhere near the style that was universally popular that school year of 1999-2000. Of course, that didn't phase me because from the start, I could sense that here was a gentle, caring soul, a comrade of sorts and also; to be blunt, I myself was not a fashion plate or a particularly superficial being so, one's attire has never determined whether or not I choose to befriend an individual.

I was not threatened by this gawky girl, she didn't give me that 'holier than thou' side eye that since first grade, I had become so accustomed to. And so, I did something which was completely out of character for the shy, embarrassed human that I was, I said hello and smiled at her. Without any reservations, that's what I did and, do you know what happened? She, too, said hello and SHE SMILED AT ME IN RETURN.

That's all it took, I was off. I was bound to make this unknown creature my friend but, I needed to know her name first so, I asked this mutual friend beside her, Jennifer, who she was. "Her name is K." Jen said.

"Hi, K. I'm Krista." "Hi, Krista." and from there, conversation flowed unabashedly.

We now had someone to sit with at lunch and we'd get our trays and head to our own little corner to sit across from one another and talk and giggle about boys or how Ms. R sat on the edge of her desk that morning with textbook in hand, only to have the whole kit-n-kaboodle collapse beneath her weight, leaving all of her pupils, whether or not they had actually witnessed this most comical occurrence, to laugh and joke with one another for the remainder of the school day. We exchanged numbers and with that information gathered, we were now left to talk to one another constantly, annoying our mothers with tied up phone lines.

We stayed at one an other's homes, with me staying on so long at hers one summer that my mother actually asked me to return to my own house because she missed me! Our parents shuttled us to and from amusement parks, movies, and one infamous fire hall dance where, lacking parental supervision at the tender ages of 13 and 15, we dirty danced for a cigarette a piece, and smoked those suckers with pride despite the fact that I had no clue one was supposed to inhale after taking a drag so, I just nonchalantly sucked in and blew out absolutely nothing which means I didn't look 'cool' for long. It didn't matter though because, we were together so, everyone else's opinions were disregarded and cancelled out.

I was with her throughout her many failed first attempts at romantic relationships, with myself lagging behind in that department for many years. I stood beside her when that evil excuse for a human molested her using the guise of a father figure to lure that young, naive mind into consenting to lewd acts. I was her saving grace throughout a trial that lasted two in a half years that was brought to a close in the best way imaginable due almost solely to my testimony as to what exactly it was that I myself had witnessed. We were both terrified but, we made it because we had each other and again, no one else mattered.

Somewhere in the midst of our shared journeys through the typical adolescent rebellion stage, a new, surprising, completely unexpected emotion was taking root inside of me. I was falling in love with my best friend. I was in love with my best friend who was, God forbid, of the female persuasion also and, having been raised in a conservative "Christian"* household, in the beginning I tried to deny it because hey, nobody wants to go to hell, you know? However, after some introspection and exposure to diversity and acceptance through various Internet sites, etc., I accepted and embraced this new development. I just had to gather up the courage to tell K my feelings.

One evening, at a restaurant, I spilled the beans. It was rather easy because the two of us were incredibly open with each other anyway, (after that trial, it was ridiculous to be prudes when it came to what we could and could not speak openly about.), so there was no tension even though of course, I was nervous I wouldn't deny that. It turned out that, she, too, had feelings for me and so, a whirlwind intimate relationship began.

That evening, we explored one another with ardor and tenderness. I was smitten and I thought she was in return. In actuality, our sexual relations lasted less than two months because, as it turned out, as much as she loved me as a best friend and sister, she had really only been curious and a lot of best friends tend to 'play around' sexually at an age when hormones are flowing through their puberty ridden bodies like water from a stream and, in this sense, K was no exception.

My love and devotion lasted for years after our short lived affair and I often told her that I loved her however, I only alluded to the actual capacity of that love but, she knew how I felt and she would automatically return that statement but it went without saying that her love for me did not run quite so deep as mine.

In 2004, she met J and, that was the beginning of the unraveling of our sisterhood, I suppose. I then moved back to Georgia as I had before during the course of our friendship but, up until J entered the picture, this had never put a damper on our deep seated relationship. Within three months of meeting him and his deranged (that's the most polite way to put it), family, he had gotten her pregnant. Two or three weeks after that revelation he proposed and a month or two later, they were married.

K's first child was born prematurely at 29 weeks. I had returned from Georgia and had traveled with her mother and mother-in-law to Pittsburgh to be with her for the birth. We arrived an hour late and the baby was already in the NICU. A, her baby, survived and due to K and J's prominent involvement with Child Youth Services, was later adopted by her aunt.

Now, throughout k's long tenure in Pittsburgh, which is two hours away, our relationship was tested because J was very jealous of me due to the fact that K felt that because he was her husband, she needed to tell him EVERYTHING about her past but, of course, this did not go both ways. I will readily admit right here that yes, at that time, I was still in love with K however, I knew my place and I was in no way attempting to sabotage their marriage because I really wanted K to be happy and I was happy just to be the best friend in that scenario.

K became pregnant again not long after returning from Pittsburgh. I often took it upon myself to open my mouth and tell her that certain things were not a good idea because previously, that is how we had been with one another and, this often started bitter arguments with J and I.

I hated J, (I still do), he is truly a deadbeat in every sense of the word and I am not exaggerating. I'll leave it at that but, keep that in mind.

Within the next two years, K had another girl and not long after that, a little boy. The second child was taken by CYS and put into foster care after I myself had fought to have her at the age of 18 and, I almost was granted guardianship but due to circumstances beyond my control, at the last minute I was denied.

J began acting extra friendly with me after they had moved out of her mother's house. One evening, when he was taking me home after a day spent with K, he pressured me into a sexual situation before he would drop me off. After that occurred, I distanced myself from K, only speaking to her on the phone for months.

When K became pregnant with her fifth child, (she had a miscarriage a few months before), things were going well between them and I was comfortable visiting her every so often with my mother picking me up afterward. Near her 33rd week of pregnancy, his mother came to get the rest of her belongings to move down to Georgia in a U-Haul. J, having no driver's licence, insisted that he was driving that truck down there for her. K knew no argument she could make would convince him otherwise and so, to prevent a monumental blow-up, she protested very little. After approximately a week of his being gone, he called her one day claiming that he had been unhappy for months and that he no longer loved her and from there, with K being on bed rest due to her history of pre-term labor, I semi took over, helping her with the two toddlers already in her care.

T was born on Good Friday at 36 1/2 weeks. I visited the two of them the next day. T is a breathtakingly beautiful baby with a full head of hair and a calm, gentle personality.

A few days after they came home, after not speaking to J, he texted K asking to speak to her. At this point, I knew that just like the two previous 'breakups' he was dying to come back. My suspicions were right on the money and he will be back as fast as his mother can gather the money to send him back on a bus.

K swears that she is not taking him back, he's only coming up here to be close to his children; yadda, yadda, yadda. I know without a doubt, the moment he steps off that bus, she'll be back in his arms again. So, that is why after surprisingly very little soul searching, I am removing myself from the picture completely. This, I truly feel, is the healthiest thing for me to do. I cannot deny how difficult and heart wrenching this decision is for me after nearly a decade of laughter, tears, hugs and babies but, for my own mental health (and physical, obviously) its what must be done.

And so, to K I say, thank you for this incredible relationship. Thank you for accepting me for who I am and loving me despite that fact. I'll always remember the good and when I'm sad or lonely, those memories we've created through the years will be like a blanket to wrap around myself to ward off the bitter cold of life's most difficult times. In my own, quiet way, though its different now, I love you and I always will.

I've heard it said,
That people come into our lives for a reason,
Bringing something we must learn.
And, we are lead to those who help us most grow,
If we let them,
And we help them in return.

Well, I don't know if I believe that's true,
But, I know I'm who I am today because I knew you.

Like a comet pulled from orbit; as it passes the sun,
Like a stream that meets a boulder; halfway through the wood,
Who can say if I've been changed for the better; I do believe I have been changed for the better,
Because I knew you,
I have been changed FOR GOOD.

For Good from Wicked

Sunny Side Up!,

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Grace in Small Things; 17 of 365.

1.) Getting unexpected calls from my BFF, Heather just when I need it the most.
2.) Classic television theme songs.
3.) Postcards from far away places.
4.) My Carnival dress from ModCloth .
5.) His Girl Friday .

Join Grace in Small Things !

Sunny Side Up!,

Friday, April 17, 2009

Picture Post: Humouresque.




images discovered Silhouette Masterpiece Theatre.















All other images fond via via .

PS- No offense meant towards my Republican darlings! To each his own.

Sunny Side Up!,